you read the subject, right?

well, in case you didn't

WATCH THIS NOOOOOW! (b/c i'm sure i will be quoting it for a while, & if you pay any attention to what i say in life, this way you won't be confused)

life is odd.  rather, my brain is odd.

basic life breakdown:
1) need a new (i.e. money-making) job
2) i'm newly single, & each time that i think about it, i nearly hyperventilate (i kind of hate being single.  scratch that, i hate being dumped & i hate having to worry about dating)
3) just got back from an amazing few days at the beach with my family
4) i stress far too much
5) i desperately need/want acting gigs (but can't seem to get past callbacks, haha)
6) current thought: "NOW how am i going to get to/from iowa?"
7) other thought: "...where will i stay in iowa?"
8) yet another thought: "wtf is my problem?"
9) i'm getting good about going to the gym regularly (with the exception of while i was at the beach)
10) fuck it


yeah, so there's that

i really hated leaving the beach.  real life makes me angry.  why, oh why was i not a trust fund baby?  damn


okay... back to cleaning, i s'pose

rant: i am SO not okay with a random HUGE spider magically appearing in my full washing machine, crawling across my underwear...  & no, this isn't just the irrational fear of spiders talking, it was fuckin' BIG... including its legs, at least 1 1/4" big... yeah


i don't really wish death on anything, but good LORD, i sure hope that the spin cycle will kill that guy... and any potential babies living within...


*shudder*

tonight was opening night...

it was pretty kickass...

i'm utterly thrilled...

i've missed this...

i really adore my cast...

holy crap, i'm tired...

holy crap, i'm thrilled :)


night lovies!

i miss my friends...

i miss having the time to be able to "make time" to see friends...

*shrug*


- though, i must say i'm content with my life, right!  i mean, almost 100% content...  not trying to make it seem like i'm utterly craptacular right now.  i just want to see certain people more often than i have since i graduated...

yeah.

perhaps it's time for me to take a tip from the lovely gwenergy & update, for goodness' sake!

life is nuts... it's just nuts, y'know?

first of all, i'm sick... been sick for the past week.  i'm assuming it's some kind of cold... or allergies... or the plague.  who knows?  i've also been having weirdass back issues... for the past, let's say 3 - 4 weeks, my lower back has been giving me trouble, though i cannot pinpoint what triggered it.  anyway.  on tuesday - when my cold started - i called in sick to work.  a couple of hours later, excruciating back pain... went to the doctor, but they had no real clue what was up.  whatevs.  i'm just glad i made it back to the apt in one piece that night (tuesday... the effing cold/rainy/sleety night... took me over an hour to walk home from the doctor's office, when it should've only taken 15 - 20 mins).

i'm tired of cold weather.  i want spring!  i want to wear dresses & flipflops & see flowers blooming all over the place!  i wanna go to the beach

so, on wednesday i just started rehearsing for "the good woman of setzuan" & i'm utterly thrilled!  get to work with some of the fabulous "arabian nights" folks, again, & some other wonderful people, as well...  bliss :)

hmm, what else? oh!  went to nyc last weekend (feb 8 & 9) with the boyfriend.  he'd never been to nyc before & 'twas much fun :)  we saw "curtains" (FABULOUS musical starring david hyde pierce & debra monk...bought a poster & got it signed... haha) & "phantom"...went to moma... & we ate at 2 neat lil' restaurants (vynl & breeze).  basically, it was a much needed weekend away from it all.

irgh

i have far too much on my mind right now to be having this much trouble writing...

more later, perhaps?

night lovies

so basically, i have come to the realization that my life is one ginormous pattern...

1) something craptacular as all get out happens (i.e. nearly have a heart attack worrying that i won't get home for christmas b/c my alarm sucks & i missed my bus... or i suck & didn't hear it?)
2) a million bajillion wonderful things happen to make up for the momentary blah...

basically, i think i'm ridiculously lucky... & if you read this & remember that i wrote that, next time i'm bitching & moaning about something small, please remind me of that?  thanks :)

oh, & i get to see CAMI tomorrow!!  we're getting pedicures :D


oh again... & my mom gave me & my sister one of our christmas presents early... it's a doormat that says "fo' shizzle: welcome to our hizzle" (we each got our own)


...see where i come from?  :)  like i said, blessed

but if that's what makes me write in my LJ, s'all good, right?  ;)  thank you, cosmoangel314!


What would you rather be called?
- babe or baby: babe
- sweetie or cupcake: sweetie
- darling or sunshine: darling... or darlin' (i am, after all, a southern belle ;) )
- hott or beautiful: beautiful

Presently...
- is your hair wet: nope
- is your cell phone right by you: nah, it's on my bed
- do you miss someone: i miss a lot of folks
- are you wearing chap stick: not at the moment... though that's a great idea!
- are you excited for tomorrow: ridiculously, actually! ... & pretty nervous, as well...
- are you watching tv: nopers
- are you wearing pajamas: another good idea!  but, alas, i have not gotten into my PJs yet


Have you...

- recently done anything you regret: i try not to regret...  it's silly.  (& no, i haven't)
- ever lied: certainly
- ever stuck gum under anything: no.  that's obnoxious
- ever licked someone:  :P ... probably so, hehe


Today...

- have you cursed: yes
- have you yelled at someone: not at their physical being, no...

Q&A.

Is there a person who is on your mind right now?  there are a couple, actually...
Do you want children?  undecided...though i'm leaning toward "yes" at some point... faaar in the future though
What's the last embarrassing thing you did?: i don't do embarrassing things ;)  hahaha, oi... funny
Do you smile often?  that i do!
Do you wish on stars?  sometimes, yes
Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? no way!  besides, most of my shoes don't tie
When did you last cry?  frustrated cry: today... actual sad kind of upset cry: probably last week or something...not sure
Do you like your handwriting?  well, i like it b/c it's mine... but it ain't pretty!
Are you a friendly person?  i am... but i can be pretty mean, when provoked
What color shirt are you wearing? white wifebeater under a blue sweater
Do you have any pets?  nah... i can hardly take care of myself, right now... i'd probably accidentally kill or lose a pet!
What were you doing at 6pm last night?  leaving work

I can't wait until: i get to act again

Is Tom on your friends list?  yeah... not in my top 8, 16, 24, whatever, though

Have you ever cried on your friend's shoulder?  oh gosh, yes


-I'm listening to: the kooks!  specifically, "got no love" at the moment
-I'm talking to: myself (& jarrod/derek via adium)
- I hate it when people ask: absolutely nothing (i need questions... without questions, communication hardly exists)
- Marriage is: probably something i wouldn't mind being in my future (distant future... but future nonetheless)
- I'm always: thinking &/or listening to music
- Before I go to bed at night I have to: stay up WAY too late, haha
- Right now: i'm filling out this thing & listening to the kooks :P
- Tonight i will: go to bed early, so as to be bright & bushy-tailed for tomorrow's audition/rehearsal
- Tomorrow i will: kick ass at my audition, & have a fabulous rehearsal :)

Last...

- Friend you saw: woodrose4 & dantehicks36
- Person to say they care: in listening to me bitch & moan about things, i believe that would be meg :P

Favorite...

- Number: 27
Color: green :)... or red

madhatternalice & gwenergy... b/c i love you both DEARLY!!

1. When is the last time you actually hung out with your top #1?
*september... oi... makes me sad!  but i get to see her in mere DAYS!

2. What's bothering you right now?
*my tummy & conflicting emotions :P

3. Would you share a drink with a stranger?
*i'd share a drink with someone i JUST met...

4. What were your plans today?
*get up early, do laundry, shower, eat lunch, get to work at 1, leave work at 6ish, return to the apt, celebrate maribeth's birthday a week early @ quarry house

7. Next time you will hug someone?
*oooh, i dunno.  maybe tomorrow?  if not tomorrow, then on wednesday when i get HOME!!!

8. Where was your default picture taken?
*in my bedroom in the apt. while sitting at my desk

9. Do you like messages or comments better?
*depends... i just like communication in general! :)

11. What is the last thing you ate today?
*either a hershey's hug, or a hershey's hot chocolate creme kiss

12. What are you doing this weekend?
*spending time with the family!  spending time with friends who i miss & love dearly (cami, zach??, rhiannon??, mike, etc)

14. Who was the last person to send you a text message?
*JDP

17. Listening to?
*iTunes on shuffle... currently boyz II men - motown philly!  haha

18. Have you ever kissed anyone named Nick/Nicole?
I don't think so...

19. Smell like?
*Pantene pro-v & chanel chance

20. Eating?
*nothin at the moment!

21. Have you hit someone today?
*i doubt it

22. Do you believe in a soul mate?
*yes... i believe that people have the potential to find many soul mates (friends, family, lovers)... depends on circumstance though

23. What do you wear to bed?
*generally speaking i wear a tee & sweatpants/basketball shorts

24. Do you burn easily in the sun?
*nope, not easily

25. Have you ever been gambling?
*nah

27. What did you do last weekend?
*staged managed one show, twice, and ran box office for another show, twice

28. What do you miss?
*acting... my family/friends... free time... hanging out with folks

29. What are you going to do after this?
*read a play?  fold laundry? take out my contacts? go to bed?

30. What was the last text message you sent?
*something with directions to QH for johnny d

31. Have you ever had a crush on your sister's/brother's friend?
*not really... well, i dunno, i thought one of them was attractive, haha

32. How good is your eyesight?
*shitacular!

33. What was the last thing you drank?
*delicious belgian framboise thing :)

34. Whose house did you go to last?
*other than mine?  i guess carla's... jeez

35. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
*not sure... maybe joel?

36. Do you like someone right now?
*i like lots of people!  like like though?  yes... there are a couple of people i'm experiencing a bit of like for, right now, haha

36. Do you have a chance with them?
*haha... i'm not even remotely sure of that.

37. What do you wear most: glasses (or contacts, i'm assuming)?
*contacts... all the time!

38. Name Three Drinks You Drank Today
*calm tea from starbucks, water, framboise stuff!

39. What is your dream phone?
* "dream phone"??  wtf!  uhm... one that has better battery life than my current phone?  lol

40. Favorite shoe?
*oh honey... i absolutely love love LOVE any shoe!  but i'm particularly fond of heels ;)

i'm frustrated.

i'm really frustrated.

super quick re-cap of the past few weeks:
on october 22 (the day after Arabian Nights closed), i started this gig stage managing a staged poetry show called "Of Love & War"... i'm NOT a stage manager.  i didn't choose to SM, but since we're short-staffed at the In Series, my boss kind of volunteered me (though i am getting paid) for the position.  so yeah, basically every night i've been doing L&W related stuff...  the past week/week & a half have been the worst though.  it's far from easy separating In Series office meghan from In Series SM meghan (i'm like barbie, but much more fabulous!). 
anyway... we had our tech rehearsal (noon to 6) on saturday... which just so happened to also be our first time IN THE SPACE & the day before we opened... ridic.  but whatever, you gotta deal with shit like that sometimes.

so we've finally opened... & i'm thrilled!  i love the people i'm working with, but i am not cut out for stage management... i can (wo-)man the light board with the best of them... & i basically rock at calling places & things like that... but the pre-production stage managerial stuff is not something i can handle.  i am too emotional of a person... i get frustrated, & when i get frustrated i either blame myself or find someone else to blame... i realize i should avoid placing blame, but it's hard for me to do that.  anyway!

SMing aside, i'm still frustrated...

today: i got to work, was thrilled to pieces b/c i figured that i'd be able to actually FOLLOW THE SCHEDULE i'd made for myself a while ago.  i haven't really had a set schedule in weeks b/c of the SM gig, & b/c of random stuff dealing with the other show we're doing in rep with L&W.  but yeah, come 4pm i was going to head on home & relax... but carla asked me to head over to her place with some stuff about an hour & a half before i was supposed to leave for the day... however, things didn't get done immediately & i didn't get to leave for carla's until about 3:15/3:30...  by the time i left & got to the metro, i was using all the power i had to try & keep myself from bawling... didn't succeed, completely.  but yeah, i was getting more & more upset with myself b/c i couldn't just let it be, y'know?  i just kept thinking... thinking about how i've completely rearranged so much of my life for this company (which i love... so i'm not TOTALLY disappointed... just frustrated)... thinking about how i haven't had time for anything, really (no time to call my parents, no time to try to find a place to get my last HPV shot - which has to happen within the next week, no time to see people)... at least, not until today/yesterday.

& i know i'm being a total baby, but the transition period is mentally, emotionally, & physically exhausting me.  i wouldn't necessarily trade it, but i don't know...

i mean, the main thing i realized from being all weepy on the metro today was that i need things to look forward to.  i was looking forward to leaving work at 4... to getting things done that needed to be done (esp things that needed to be done before 5pm).  but that was kind of crushed... it seems like a little thing, i'm sure, but it's important to me to have something to look forward to.
& that's where i'm also getting frustrated in my personal life...  i want something to look forward to... i mean, i'm looking forward to going home & spending time with the family over thanksgiving, seeing cami (who i spoke with for the first time in FOREVER yesterday), maybe seeing zach & rhiannon & many others who i haven't seen in months.  but there are other things i want to be able to look forward to...

i've been thinking way too much about the personal life stuff, lately.  actually, i'd say it's more like i've been agonizing over it, haha.  it's a ridiculously busy time for me right now, as it is for everyone.  this time of year is insane!  but i don't know.  i'm starting to question (a) whether or not i'm worth it... & (b) where i stand in certain situations.

i had a conversation recently, which went swimmingly.  i was elated to have this conversation, b/c i've been kind of worried about my situation surrounding the conversation as of late...  however, the more i have time to think about the conversation, the more frustrated i become.  things don't really align very well... & i'm realizing how important it is to take action... to be able to back up what you say to a person.  i know that life is insane right now... but i need proof, in situations like this...  b/c this is a situation in my life that i really want to be able to look forward to...  & i'm trying.  b/c it means a lot to me.  i just hope i'm not the only one that feels that way...

I believe that doing the challenging assignments I'm about to describe will put you in alignment with cosmic rhythms, and make it more likely that you will attract grace and synchronicity into your life. You are, of course, under no obligation to carry them out. That's because you have free will, and are always at liberty to choose a path that leads you away from grace and synchronicity. With that as a caveat, here are the roles I believe you should play in the coming week if you'd like to thrive: a catalytic X-factor; a tender wild card; a friendly shocker; a nonviolent bombshell; an agent provocateur who loves all you survey.




could be fun... i'll take it :)

a very happy birthday to madhatternalice!

hope it is/was grand :)

i bought a wig this afternoon so that i could (a) own another wig and (b) have some kind of costume for one of the few possible halloween parties i would be attending this evening...
it's 12:11am... as you can see, i'm not partying :)

it's funny.  i've been a bit stressed/melancholic as of late due to (a) lack of sleep, (b) this stage management gig, (c) other job things, and (d) lack of time to hang out with people i haven't seen in a while...  tonight, i actually have the time (well, sort of... there ARE other things i should be doing right now, but that's beside the point) to go see people and the opportunity (or 3 of them) to go see friends, but i don't feel like it.  haha.  i mean, i feel pretty set, actually!  i ordered food from manny & olga's with cash (who i miss, desperately)... we watched a bit of TV, ate, chitchatted, & she went off to a party while i headed back to my building.  i still figured i'd probably be going out, so i got dressed up (new wig & all) & got sleepy.

i feel like i should feel silly for not going out tonight.  i mean, on the one hand, i was excited to be out & about... but sometimes it's nice to have private time, y'know?

& i took some fun self-portraits in the wig, hehe :)

i think i might just go to bed in a few, too... yay sleep

MOUTHOLOGY

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. i choose no salad dressing at all!

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Bojangle's!!!!!  or Wendy's...chick-fil-a, too!

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. oh wow... that's difficult!  i LOVE bangkok joe's & tenh penh & any thai restaurant & kinkead's & blue moon & so many more.  love goin out to eat :)

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. 20% rounded up a lil.... unless the service was shite

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
A: spinach & salmon quiche... chicken fingers/fries/honey mustard... chicken panang

Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A. don't eat pizza, actually!

Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A: don't eat toast... but i like camembert on my bread :)

TECHNOLOGY

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A: photo i took in boston common....though i'm thinking of changing it in a few

Q. How many televisions are in your house/apartment?
A: 2, i think?

BIOLOGY

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A. right-handed... unless i'm doing a cartwheel.  then i'm either left-handed or no-handed

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. wisdom teeth, other teeth, random articles of clothing... you know, the usual :P

Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. this summer, i think... though i may have one right now.  i'm uncertain...

Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A. musical instruments this afternoon!!

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. actually, i don't think i have

BULLSHITOLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. yes, i think i would!

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A. aw, i wouldn't change my name!  i like my name :)  maybe i'll just get a new last name sometime :P  hehe

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. red... or green (i hope... seeing as i wear green all the time)

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. of course!  i was wee once, wasn't i? :)

Q. Have you ever saved someone's life?
A. nah... i don't think so

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. potentially... i'm not sure if i would have died without help, but i'm glad that i got it

DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. seriously?  of course!!  jeez

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. i don't like pain...

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. yup yup!

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A. perhaps

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A. no sir!

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A. i don't think i could...


DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
A: well, it would have to be my left butt pocket... nothing, though

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A. haha, i liked it :)

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house/apartment?
A: carpet & some tile

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: stand

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A: yes!  & i do :P

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
A: uhm... i only have 4 here, but i think i own at least 10

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: not sure, but i could have, last night!  tehehe

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: an actor... one who creates beautiful things... ridiculously happy... with someone (but not defined by him)... making folks ridiculously happy... a wonderful friend... loved & loving... fabulous, as well :)

Q: Who is number 1 on your top 8?
A: are we talkin' myspace here?  i mean, it's obviously cami, but still!  haha :P

LASTOLOGY

Q: Last friend you talked to?
A: meg

Q: Last person who called you?
A: carla

Q: Last person you hugged?
A: gwen... though there were lots of hugs today.  i will very much miss these folks.  man

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
A: i have three... 0, 13, 27

Q: Season?
A: autumn & spring... mild is good by me :)

CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
A: yes... a lot of someones, actually

Q: Mood?
A: sleepy (which is not a mood) & proud & a little sad

Q: Listening to?
A: ani (32 flavors)

Q: Watching?
A: my computer screen (my cursor & fabulous typing skills)

Q: Worrying about?
A: whether or not there's such a thing as being too wary... & if i'm messing up by being so

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A: bathroom for a shower

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: more theatre... celebrate my birthday WITH MY FAMILY!!!  sleep in, tomorrow morning!

Q: What's the last movie you saw?
A: uhhhm, wow, i really don't know!  i watched part of the lion the witch & the wardrobe (2005 version) with folks...

Q: Do you smile often?
A: i'd like to think so :)

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: yes, but i have my rough spots, of course

so uh, yeah!

i'm over it..


& that's fine by me

been working for 2 weeks now... i'm pretty pleased with the job, actually.  not sure how i'll end up feeling about it if this whole "hey, you'll be stage managing this show we're working on, k?  k!" thing keeps up... but, so far, i'd like to be involved for a while!  oh, & PS... here's a poem that i came across while typing up stuff for one of the next shows we're putting up...  i kind of fell in love with it...

Walt Whitman – Unfolded Out of the Folds

Unfolded out of the folds of the woman man comes unfolded, and is always to come unfolded,

Unfolded only out of the superbest woman of the earth is to come the superbest man of the earth,

Unfolded out of the friendliest woman is to come the friendliest man,

Unfolded only out of the perfect body of a woman can a man be form'd of perfect body,

Unfolded only out of the inimitable poems of woman can come the poems of man, (only thence have my poems come;)

Unfolded out of the strong and arrogant woman I love, only thence can appear the strong and arrogant man I love,

Unfolded by brawny embraces from the well-muscled woman I love, only thence come the brawny embraces of the man,

Unfolded out of the folds of the woman's brain come all the folds of the man's brain, duly obedient,

Unfolded out of the justice of the woman all justice is unfolded,

Unfolded out of the sympathy of the woman is all sympathy;

A man is a great thing upon the earth and through eternity, but every jot of the greatness of man is unfolded out of woman;

First the man is shaped in the woman, he can then be shaped in himself.

nifty, huh?  so yeah, that's work... i like it :P

got 2 shows left of "The Arabian Nights"... & i'm ridiculously sad about that.  it's been a rather fabulous experience.  though i joined in pretty late in the process, the show has been a fun project to work on.  not only has the production itself been fantastic, but the people are utterly phenomenal...  i feel really blessed to have met & worked with these folks.  it's absolutely wonderful - & probably pretty rare - when you have a group working together & gelling to a point where you can just feel the trust filling the theater as they all work.  it's beautiful.  & i'm lucky to be working with them... makes me smile :)  though i do have those nerves of "wait, theatre professionals get so busy... are any of us going to keep in touch?  rather, am i going to see/talk to these people anymore after the show closes?"...  i always think about that kind of thing.  anyway.  i very much hope that a couple of these people in particular continue to play a role (haha, theatre pun :) in my life.  i'm not worried though :P

oh!  excitement here.  i was invited to audition with freakin' RORSCHACH...  i mean, even if the audition went horribly wrong, or something, i would still be thrilled to pieces, b/c it's rorschach.  the first show i ever saw them put on was "accidental death of an anarchist" & i fell in love with what they did right there.  i dunno... basically i would give up my first born child (assuming i birth one of those, ever) to work with a few companies in the area... Rorschach is definitely one of those companies.  i think you understand me now :)  so yay!  excited for that.

went out for meg's birthday on wednesday night.  tons o' fun, there!  well, other than our crap-tacular waitress.  i mean, she was alright at first, but once we finished our entrees, she kind of fell off the face of the earth!  but yeah, anyway.  meg, gwen, rachel, & i - csmith joined late in the game - went to macaroni grill for dinner/drinks/celebration.  it was a fun night, i think.  i hope meg had an enjoyable evening.  but yeah, i always enjoy nights with the girls :)

uhm... hmm...  go see WSC's Caligula... it's effing great.  i need to see it again.

gah, okay, i'm fading...  bedtime for mego!

oh & PS... check out ...  http://www.animalshaveproblemstoo.com  it's RIDICULOUSLY fun :)

PPS... halloween is coming up... which means my birthday is soon, too... 23?  odd.

mwahs, lovies :)

i said i'd be back with more a bit later on, and here i am!


y'all know that i've been looking for a job since july, basically... but the job hunt really hasn't been going well, at all.  i mean, life's been moving along rather well... i've gotten to work on 2 phenomenal shows (in rapid succession, too) & met some fabulous folks, so i'm pretty hesitant to complain about life, in general.  however, i've been kind of in a financial downward spiral as of late, & i had a mini nervous breakdown yesterday after speaking with cami a bit... "frustration nation" has been the name of the game!  so yeah.  i put up an away message expressing my urgent need for a job, & allison gtalked me (woman is freakin' phenomenal) in response.  she suggested that i e-mail her friend, who is in desperate need of assistance these days, & so i did.  i sent my resume & a bit of a cover letter to this woman, & allison introduced us after the show, last night.  she said that she would give me a call the next day (so, today)...

woke up this morning after a rough night's sleep (if you can even call it that, haha) & hopped in the shower.  when i shower, i think.  i love shower time... it's a very introspective time for me.  sounds weird, i know, but it's peaceful & yeah...whatever!  :)  so basically this morning, i was still feeling a little wonky from the mini breakdown yesterday, & so i got to thinking.  i remembered a conversation i had with my friend laura about a week & a half ago.  she brought up a current situation in her life & mentioned the notion of having to ask God for things... now, i've always considered myself a faithful person... though i'm not s'much into the whole organized religion shindig, y'know?  but, that conversation popped back into my head while i was in the shower this morning... & i started to think about the way the past couple of days have been going for me...

basically, i realized that i haven't been all that strong, as of late.  i mean, i consider myself a pretty strong individual, but i've been hella weak lately.  so i asked God to help me find strength to deal with all kinds of things... strength to deal with the money situation, the job situation, & strength to stop trying too hard.  i've been trying too hard, these days... which isn't always bad, but i'm currently referring to trying too hard for results... for something to happen, & to happen how i think i want it to happen! 

so, i got out of the shower, feeling semi-rejuvenated & semi-exhausted...i googled free will astrology & checked out my horoscope for this week.  very fitting :)  immediately after i started typing my last LJ entry (with the horoscope), i got a phone call... & with that phone call came a job.  a temporary job, but a job nonetheless... 


so yeah... God gave me strength before i even asked for it.  b/c i had the strength to ask in the first place. 

& i think that's swell :)

so yeah... if you hear me say "goddammit" anytime from now on, smack me, okay?  i figure i at least owe Him removing that from my vocab... & replacing it with a bit more positive communication


anyway.  i have to work in the morning, so i guess i should sleep :D

g'night kids!

love me some ionesco...& french...

yeah

"On ne peut pas vivre mal, c'est une contradiction."
{Eugène Ionesco, Extrait de Le roi se meurt}

thank you, allison, for reminding me about this :)


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/10/05/AR2007100502178.html?nav=hcmodule

GAH... okay so i was just dicking around a bit on facebook & read a note that i wrote a while ago...

i miss my 007s... like whoa. 


enjoy :)





&...




finally...




thanks to dylan & imyewneek for the fabulous vids!  :)

no phone interview today :(

postponed until 8:30 monday morning... eep!


worst. time. ever.

randomocity & things...

+/- i smile when i'm upset... hahaha, thanks for noticing, woodrose4 

- craziness!

+ DoaM was really fun this week... i mean, it's weird b/c the "regulars"/originators don't come anymore, but it was really fabulous to hang out with CSmith, Meliss, Jarrod, JDP, & Allie...

+ writing stories via GTalk with wonderful people is ridiculously therapeutic! (see yesterday's long ass-entry to read the story, if you wish)

+ yesterday was good... it was just really good: getting all dolled up & taking the HotHouse shoes out for another spin, brooks, laughing like maniacs @ brooks, the fabulous company @ brooks, seeing brian for the first time in a while @ brooks, beggar's opera @ cua (utterly gorgeous... in awe of dr. tom's set & deb's costumes... guh!), belting showtunes with the roomies

see?  shoes!  :)


+ ANI ANI ANI ANI ANI ANI ANI @ 9:30 club on friday november 16!  i'm TOTALLY going... anyone else in?  let me know by saturday night, b/c tickets go on presale @ 10am on sunday... i'll e-mail info to whoever's in :)

+ i've got a phone interview for a job tomorrow!!! :D :D :D  (wish me luck... i'll need it!)


...& the positives totally outweigh the negatives!  it's good to be in a good place :P

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check out sara bareilles... she's fabulous!  & this is an amazing song...